What does your car say about you? Do you drive a Firebird? A Corvette? A Prius? Or a Malibu? Is your car black? Red? Silver? White? Purple?

According to researchers, it all means something. Whether it means something for you may be debatable.

Researchers in Tennessee from "The Right Brain People" have been studying the psychology of cars and colors. Supposedly the right side of the brain is in control of emotion and creativity and that is the part that influences what we buy when we go t0 a car dealership. The psychologists in Tennessee try to help car dealers understand the emotional factors that drive consumer decisions. In other words, they predict what you are going to buy and what color you want it to be. Results are curious but interesting.

They say that minivan buyers are “nurturing” and escape-minded people. Sport-utility vehicle buyers are looking for adventure. The people who plunk down big dollars to buy a Hummer or another large SUV are looking for power and control and have a "warrior mentality". Don't get in their way. Especially if they are armed.

People who buy a hybrid have character and are trying to show that they are "doing the right thing". Compact cars go to people who are low in rationality and character, according to the psychologists in Tennessee. On the other hand, maybe they are just looking to spend a lot less money for basic transportation?

Got a convertible? They say that means you want freedom and independence to be your motto. Got a sports car? Okay, then you are looking for “youthful exuberance and rejuvenation” (whatever that really means).

If you are driving a four-door sedan, then you are practical. That one is pretty obvious.

On the other hand, if you are driving a big truck that means you are looking for power and control (but since you don't carry a gun or a spear or sword, you must not own a Hummer yet, I guess).

Then we get to the Lexus and Mercedes-Benz, both of which stand for power and status, along with the BMW. The slight difference is that Lexus goes to the younger mind set while Mercedes is big on "power attitude" and BMW is looking for a sporty "control" in life.

Got a Corvette? The psychologists say only one word in response: immortality. Apparently you think you will live longer than your car? Yeah, maybe... just maybe (but I wouldn’t bet on it).

Meantime, what do all the colors mean? Well, that have answers for that too.

Silver: elegant and cool.

White: fastidious.

"Gimme a ticket" Red? Sexy, speedy, high energy and dynamic (and a glove box full of tickets from the highway patrol).

Deep red? Some of the same qualities as red, but a little less obvious about it. Translation? Not as many tickets in the glove box.

Light brown: timeless, basic and simple tastes.

Black: not easily manipulated, loves elegance, and appreciates a classic. Still, don't expect to find Frank Sinatra in the CD player.

Gray: sober, corporate, practical, pragmatic. The only word missing is boring.

Dark green: traditional, trustworthy, well-balanced. Think Jimmy Carter in a nice wool suit.

Bright green and yellow: trendy, fun, lively. Also screaming to be seen.

Dark brown: down to earth, no nonsense.

Orange: fun-loving, talkative, fickle and trendy. Likes pierced body parts (just kidding).

Deep purple: creative and individualistic. Has extensive Jimi Hendrix CD collection.

Some of the predictions might be true, and some of them might be a mile off. Still, keep in mind that this is what the "experts" are telling car dealers. So when you go to buy a specific type of vehicle or a specific color of vehicle, the car dealer’s salespeople may have an attitude and expectation about you as a buyer as a result.

No matter what color your lemon is, we can help you get rid of it. After all, that's what we do. And we make no judgments about you in the process!

You are what you eat. People look like their dogs. And now the color of your car says what kind of person you are. At least that's what Jill Morton says.

Morton is a color consultant based in Honolulu who agrees with British researchers who years ago figured out that the color of your car (yeah, your car) says something about your personality.

Here's some results ... er, predictions ... well, whatever ...

Silver - cool headed but slightly aloof
Black - aggressive and maybe rebellious
White - a status seeking extrovert
Cream - controlled and self-contained
Gray - calm and sober, dedicated to work
Blue - reflective and cautious, introspective
Red - energetic, a quick thinker, mover, and talker
Yellow - idealistic
Green excitable
Pink - Loving, gentle, affectionate (yeah, but doesn't it give you that Mary Kay feeling?)

And if you run the numbers on auto accidents, according to a study published in the British Medical Journal, silver cars are half as likely to get involved in an injury-causing accident than other colors. Brown, black and green are the least safe colors, in the order. Maybe that's why they are predicting silver to be the next model year's biggest color choice (really).

You know, if there were scientists behind all the numbers, you'd have to wonder. Come to think about it, do they have so little to do that analyzing colors and personalities and accidents is what scientists are being paid to do?

So what do you do if you make cars and all the other manufacturers have red? If you're GM you call it something else. How about Salsa Red? Another new color name coming from GM soon is Cappuccino Frost. Chrysler is coming out with Cool Vanilla while Honda is coming out with Root Beer. And Ford? How about Merlot, Egg Yolk and Creme Brulee.

What is this? Are we making cars or did the paint department hire the Cooking Channel's staff?

Well, a lemon is still a lemon. And if you get one, get us. Squashing lemons is what we do. Every day.